February 23, 2010

The Wall

Bad experiences with people. They just leave a horrible bitter taste in our mouth. They breed distrust, anger, hesitance, sadness and caution. These are nothing but bricks and cement that inevitably lead to the construction of a fierce wall. A wall of defence so strong, Terry and Puyol would be put to shame. There is no door...not even a window. We're so busy blocking out the negativity and protecting ourselves against harm, that we don't realise we're also very effectively blocking out the air, the sunshine, the view...not to mention, new visitors.

Chances are free, whether given or taken. Try it. If you are one of those few who has a newly built wall, don't let the cement dry. I know what you're thinking. "I did give people a chance again. They're all just the same. Story of my life. Now I'm done!". Wrong. Everyone is NOT the same. We think that, because after one or two of the same kind of experiences, we're subconsciously scared and waiting in anticipation for the same turn of events eventually. So, when they do happen, we try to find identical aspects and behaviour. Hence, it's just easier to group them all together and give up. We claim we're the victim of the same thing repeatedly. Truly think about it. We just tend to dwell on the similarities. We very conveniently ignore the differences between experiences. Selective memory is what it's called.

Want to be happier? You know that little rubber thing at the end of your pencil? Use it on your life's paper more often. Erase the negative thoughts and the presumptions that you base on your past experiences. Turn the page to a nice white blank sheet every time you meet a new person, before you start making notes on them. Don't pre-judge. You're going to lose out. I repeat, everyone is NOT the same. Yes, the saying "Beware of dog, he bites" does exist. But the fact is, all dogs don't bite.

When I say erase, I don't mean forget. Of course we should learn from history. Our forefathers weren't completely stupid. But the past seldom has anything to do with the next person we meet. There is a reason the 'present' lies between the past and the future, separating it. Wren and Martin knew what they were talking about. Go with it.

If we stop believing, people stop believing in us. If we stop letting people in, people stop letting us in. It is as simple as that. We don't want that. We're social beings. We need to start treating experiences like a meal at a restaurant. Take it all with a pinch of salt, and forget about it when the bill is cleared. It needs to be digested and removed out of our system before things start churning, get complicated and leave a 'mess'...if you know what I mean.

We need to understand that guarding doesn't defend. It isolates. It leads to unnecessary paranoia. This isn't protection. It's prison. If you really want to look into the past, then let it be 1990 again! Pull down that carefully constructed Berliner Mauer of yours. See what you haven't been seeing for so long. See what is outside. See who's been peeping over the wall. See who is on the other side.

Let them in.

February 19, 2010


Frail, fragile and fresh,
Have no worry,
I will be here for you, you will see..
Like you will someday, I know for me,

Mistakes of mine,
You will not mirror,
I will try to make sure,
Like you will someday, I know for me,

If I reach great heights,
So will you, only higher will they be,
I will show you how,
Like you will someday, I know for me.

If lost like a lamb,
Scared be not,
A guiding beacon I will be,
Like you will someday, I know for me.

How do I know,
Someday will arrive and
You will be there?
You WILL be there, we will see,
Because after all,
You are a little me.