July 16, 2010
February 23, 2010
Chances are free, whether given or taken. Try it. If you are one of those few who has a newly built wall, don't let the cement dry. I know what you're thinking. "I did give people a chance again. They're all just the same. Story of my life. Now I'm done!". Wrong. Everyone is NOT the same. We think that, because after one or two of the same kind of experiences, we're subconsciously scared and waiting in anticipation for the same turn of events eventually. So, when they do happen, we try to find identical aspects and behaviour. Hence, it's just easier to group them all together and give up. We claim we're the victim of the same thing repeatedly. Truly think about it. We just tend to dwell on the similarities. We very conveniently ignore the differences between experiences. Selective memory is what it's called.
Want to be happier? You know that little rubber thing at the end of your pencil? Use it on your life's paper more often. Erase the negative thoughts and the presumptions that you base on your past experiences. Turn the page to a nice white blank sheet every time you meet a new person, before you start making notes on them. Don't pre-judge. You're going to lose out. I repeat, everyone is NOT the same. Yes, the saying "Beware of dog, he bites" does exist. But the fact is, all dogs don't bite.
When I say erase, I don't mean forget. Of course we should learn from history. Our forefathers weren't completely stupid. But the past seldom has anything to do with the next person we meet. There is a reason the 'present' lies between the past and the future, separating it. Wren and Martin knew what they were talking about. Go with it.
If we stop believing, people stop believing in us. If we stop letting people in, people stop letting us in. It is as simple as that. We don't want that. We're social beings. We need to start treating experiences like a meal at a restaurant. Take it all with a pinch of salt, and forget about it when the bill is cleared. It needs to be digested and removed out of our system before things start churning, get complicated and leave a 'mess'...if you know what I mean.
We need to understand that guarding doesn't defend. It isolates. It leads to unnecessary paranoia. This isn't protection. It's prison. If you really want to look into the past, then let it be 1990 again! Pull down that carefully constructed Berliner Mauer of yours. See what you haven't been seeing for so long. See what is outside. See who's been peeping over the wall. See who is on the other side.
Let them in.