November 28, 2009

Wrongly Right

All wrong, yet

Never, felt so right.

Divine, even though such a sin.

Rush, never so painfully slow.

Elongated moments, cut short.

Aware, but blissfully unaware.

Stationary, even though moving.

Heaving sighs,

Ecstatic smiles,

Raging adrenaline,

Consoling words,

Heated moments,


No looking back, never will it

Happen again, because it is

All wrong, but somehow

Never does it stop feeling right.

November 24, 2009

The Seductress

Love and trust. Time and time again, people state completely contradictory things about them. People say they go hand in hand. Love is often referred to as blind, simple, eternal, necessary, complicated, hard, overrated etc.. I think it just depends on which situation you are in. If you're in a loving 4 year long relationship, you're going to think it's bliss, even when it's complicated because, then you look at the positive aspects more than the negative aspects. People, who're single, and trying to find that one person to connect with, but continuously keep falling on their faces, would say love is fictional, or hard to find. People who've been cheated on, in love, the cynic in them would call it overrated or non-existent. They conveniently forget, it did exist... at least from their side.

According to me, love is as simple or as complicated as YOU make it. You really do have the power and control over it... to a certain extent. When I say love now, I guess I mean relationships. But right now, I want to dwell on this topic that has baffled me for ages now. I’m talking about the whole concept and complication of the 'other woman'. Popularly known as the seductress. People love to hate her. But no one knows the real her. It is really her fault all the time? Was there ever any love anyway? Is there love now? If yes, where is the love? Whose fault is it? Who is to blame? Is there just one victim? The way I see it, the typical pattern is…

Man loves woman.

Woman loves man.

Man loves other woman.

Woman hates woman.

It's inevitable. She just chooses to hate the other woman, because it's easier than hating the man she loves. She just takes the easy way out. She refuses to see logically even for a minute. She just wants to defend her man. The same man who actually hurt her. She might discover clues, hints, signals... of things that he's doing which prove he's cheating on her, but no, he is flawless. After all he is the man she loves. This is when love is actually blind.

When after the obvious happenings, god forbid, she does discover he's been unfaithful; she tends to follow the following pattern:

Step One: She tries and thinks of what SHE did wrong.

Step Two: She blames herself.

Step Three: She tried to justify what he did

Step Four: She makes excuses FOR him.

Step Five: She blames the OTHER woman.

Step Six: She concludes that all of it is the temptress’ doing.

Step Seven: She hates her for life.

End of cycle.

Even during so many steps, not once does she 'step' into the other woman's stilettos, and stop to think why another woman would even want to be a third person. Maybe she didn't know about the girlfriend/wife, maybe she did, but the guy told her he didn't love his wife/girlfriend anymore (which is a stupid line to fall for, by the way), or maybe she was told he was ending it soon (Haha.. fat chance!), or just maybe he did tell her about the relationship and she actually told him not to cheat, or to stop what he was doing because it wasn't the right thing, and talked him into going back to his lady, but he still made the choice of his own accord. Ever thought of any of that? After a certain extent, the so-called 'vixen' is obviously going to stop thinking for the man, pursue her feelings and make herself happy. It's his life after all and he made the decision. The way I see it, all 'fault' signs point in the direction leading to the man!

But, women just find it easier to blame it on the bitch who's a stranger. This just gives the men the perfect chance to take advantage of the situation and blame the other woman as well, and behave like, he's always and forever going to be in love with the girlfriend/wife, and he didn't want this third person in the first place. It was all HER... and her strategies, temptation, seduction, brain washing and witchcraft. Convenient exit sign guys. Good job.

So clearly, the woman in the relationship is a victim of lying, cheating, betrayal...infidelity. The other woman is a victim of unnecessary hatred for life, shame and guilt. There's high probability that even after being led on, used and actually falling for the person she thought might very well be the love of her life, she won't even get the man, while the couple lives happily ever after. All of this, for no fault of her own.

As for the man? Is he a victim? Yes he is, he's a victim of guilty pleasure, the adrenaline, the thrill... basically, he's just your average male.

So the way I see it, there are only two victims in the situation. The women. When that obvious fact has been established, shouldn't the women start thinking practically, and dump the goon who had no will power? Isn't it the only thing that makes sense? But instead, they start hating, or worse... competing for the man. Which man? The cheating bastard. Wow. What a shiny trophy that one is. Seriously, how dense do women have to be, not to see it's the man's fault? Haven't they heard Shakira and Beyonce sing about their 'Beautiful Liar'? How much more convincing does one need? It's clear. He doesn't deserve either of them. Do they not know, that irrespective of who gets him, it might not be for too long, until another woman enters the picture? A tiger never changes his stripes.

When is the other woman going to realise, she is going to lose anyway. She probably never DID have him. She fell for him, just like his wife probably did, and is in nearly the same position, for no reason. She should’ve just seen this coming. I know, I know, easier said than done.

More importantly, when is the wife/girlfriend going to come to terms with the fact that it IS in fact, the man to who is to be blamed. It isn't the other woman’s fault. She just fell in love, like everyone normally tends to, everyday, all around the world. She was probably in too deep without knowing any better. She doesn’t want you feeling the way you are. She can feel your pain. This wasn’t what she intended. It’s not just you who didn’t want this. She didn't want this too you know. Ever thought for a second that, for the person you blatantly call the 'other woman', the 'other woman' might be you?

November 05, 2009

Work In 'Progress'

Progress. Funny word. What is it exactly? I have been pondering on this fact since I arrived in the UK. I know the world measures it in several contexts like economic growth, GDP, scientific & technological discoveries, infrastructure etc, but I'm beginning to think progress has a lot to do with the people of the country, their intellect, tolerance, world awareness, mentality and mindset.

I mean, can you really call a nation a progressing/progressed one when the people in it know NOTHING about anything apart from their country? Can you say a country is a super power when most of the people that come from there are super ignorant? Can you be proud of the fact that your country is diverse and caters to all cultures when most of the people are actually really racist? These are signs of progress of one kind, and deterioration of another, and hence the so-called progress is nullified. This is not progress, it's more like work in progress.

Since we're talking about ignorant people, I HAVE to mention some things I heard from people in Manchester. If you think ignorant is bad, try combining it with racist, and voila, you have their DNA. These are some of the random thoughts they had about India as a country, they're quite offensive, but some of them just crack me up, when I think people from a 'progressed' country can be such imbeciles.

- They think India isn't photogenic and there's nothing beautiful there. It's full of slums and dirt. (Thank you Slumdog Millionaire)
- They claim to know a lot of facts & statistics about what India is lacking, and how it's rubbish. (Funny, they also mentioned never setting foot in there)
- One stated that every city in the country he's from is 'clearly', 'obviously', 'surely' better than ANY Indian city. (I repeat, he has never been to India)
- I dropped a one pound coin by mistake, and one person burst out laughing saying "Go on, run for your life, go get it, that's probably worth a million in India."
- I was shown the stupidest comedy clip in the world, and because I didn't find it funny, I was told "You probably didn't get it, because you're Indian."
- One weird person told me that they thought the only time Indians have sex in their lifetime is to reproduce. He finds it hard to imagine that people in India are people, and not animals. That is, we have sex for recreational purposes. (Someone needs to tell him where the Kama Sutra comes from)

"The greatest form of ignorance is rejecting something you know NOTHING about" - H. Jackson Brown

I mean, out of ALL the people I've met, the people who are from the so-called 'third world countries' seem to have travelled way more, seem to have superior knowledge about the globe, know a lot of languages, and know as much about other countries and cultures as their own country. Basically, they are the ones who seem to have a sane non-ignorant brain.

Opposing to that, the people from the 'world leading' countries and super powers seem to know as little as they can possibly about everything around them. When I stated this obvious fact to them, the response received was, "Well, we don't NEED to know about your countries, but you sure as hell need to know about ours. We are the world leaders after all, you know." That, is a progressive mind, from a progressed country talking. We better take notes. We lack in the obnoxious, ignorant and stupid department. We haven't made any 'progress' there yet. We still seem to like being intellectual, informed and non-judgemental. Third world country thoughts. We don't know any better. Silly us.

This just brings me back to thinking, is progress really how we measure it, or does it have more to do with mental progress, or do they both go hand in hand? I mean, surely it doesn't make sense when a country claims it's education system to be amazing, and one of the best in the world, but when the 'bright' students are asked how many states India has, they don't even know it has any. There is something wrong, and I can't quite point it out clearly, but it's disgusting to see people from world leading countries being so backward in their thought process, being so racist and so intolerant. They might have the best education and technology in the world, but someone forgot to teach them about culture, acceptance, diversity, unlearning, open mindedness and just plain old common courtesy! They need to understand their progress doesn't really give them an edge or upper hand. It's not progress, it's make-believe progress. In the words of Sydney J. Harris, it's false progress!

"The greatest enemy of progress is not stagnation, but false progress." - Sydney J Harris

Countries don't mean anything. Borders are just for geographical purposes now. We don't need to learn about certain countries and economies. We need to learn about the world as a whole, and global economy & progress. We need to be aware that progress is much more than just speaking better English and having good infrastructure. We need to be tolerant before we progress, we need to embrace other cultures like they're our own, we need to focus on the positive things about others rather than pick out and point the things that are wrong all the time. We need to take off our horse blinders and use our spherical vision for a change. We really need to stop pushing the snooze button on our alarm clocks and wake up once and for all! We need to make progress and this time hopefully, real progress.