December 03, 2008

Facebook Etiquette

For all of you reading this, if you don't know what Facebook is, welcome to Earth. After the hype of Hi5 died down, and Orkut got itself into scandals, the only refuge for us poor souls who thrive on online socializing and gossip, Facebook was the next logical stop.

It started off as a very user-friendly site. Everyone loved writing on walls, and tagging was the new 'it' thing. That was the stone age.

Applications were added, but we could handle them, heck, we could even handle the new layout. But the complication I'm talking about, is not Facebook's technical team's fault. It's us. We stupid social beings. Facebook isn't a site anymore. It's another realm. There are rules. There is law. There are consequences. There are social appearances. There is etiquette which has to be followed, or you are a total outcast.

Etiquette 1: The Birthday Calendar

Approaches July 9th, your calender reminds you it's X's birthday. Do you care? No. Have you spoken to them ever? No. But it's on the calender. They HAVE to be wished. Doesn't matter if your post is lost among the other 400. You have to do your duty.

Etiquette 2: Keep The Comments Flowing

Uploaded a new picture? Looking really good? Well you must be, because that's when you're hoarded with comments. Now 'so and so' was adorably sweet and complimented you. The 'Thank You' has to be said, even if they've commented on all 60 pics in the album. I mean, they're just going to think you're impolite. What's more, you have to comment on a few pics of theirs too.

Etiquette 3: Public Affair

Girl: How can you NOT put up that you're in a relationship with me?
Guy: Honey, it's just Facebook.
Girl: Are you embarrassed of me?
Guy: No! Okay, I'll accept the request.
Girl: Okay, and why isn't our picture up on display?
Guy: *sigh* Okay love, I'll change it right away.

That's how it's gotten. Girlfriends and boyfriends have to accept gifts, stickers, notes from each other, however embarrassing they might be. Because now, online rejecting leads to offline fighting.

Etiquette 4: The Bitch Factor

You check your wall. The first post reads 'Heyyyyyy... long time! Looking soooo pretty! MWAH'. No matter how much you dislike the person, how annoying their extra elongated repetitive letters are (yyyyy?), how much you're glad you haven't seen them in ages, how funny looking you think they are, you have to reply saying "Heyyyy to you too!! I know omg, long time!! Aww...Thanks! But look whose talking, you're gorgeous yourself! MWAH!". You cannot afford to miss the 'MWAH'. Your social life might as well commit suicide.

Etiquette 5: The Attention Seeker

This kind is on everyone's list. They go on commenting sprees, not because they like your pictures, but because they've probably uploaded a new profile pic or album, on which THEY want comments. They know all about Etiquette 2, and use it to their benefit.

Etiquette 6: Ever Changing Love

'ABC is no longer listed as 'In a Relationship'. The statement stirs gossip. What happened? Is the relationship really over? Is this just a joke? No matter how happy you are that this person is finally available, reassurance and condolence has to be given, ever so subtly. It has to go something like this, "Oh no, hope you okay!" or the ever so popular "Single? No way!! :O" (even though after every letter you typed, you're probably doing jumping jacks around your room).

What a tangled web(site) we've got ourselves in. After noticing this kind of behaviour, every comment coming into my profile is highly scrutinized for genuineness. Every wall post goes through a mental lie detector. Every comment I make, I make sure I truly mean it. It is the only way to stop this horrible fakeness going around.

This site was supposed to be for friends who WANT to keep in touch. If we wanted the fake air-kissing we get offline at social gatherings, we wouldn't have logged in, in the first place. I for one, hate the obligations that come with 'Accepting' a friend request.

Take my advice. Ensure peace of mind. Lessen your headache. In other words, next time you're clicking on the 'Accept' button, think twice, move to the right and click on the 'Ignore' button instead. :)


  1. Lol we have spoken abot this so many times, its so right, i agree with ya... im starting to like ur blog even more now...

    P.S- San its been so long, u look so pretty in the last pics i saw of u, Muah..... Sigh!!!!

    I'll just say our phone convo's are more amusing than facebook.

  2. Im gonna put all the above on a t-shirt ;)

  3. So, so true!!!!!! Hahahaha :):)

  4. u got it bang on babe!!!!!
    loved it!!!

  5. it's extremely amusing. undeniably true and mocking. facebook is no more a mere social community it's intrusive.

  6. Very true indeed. Pretty much the same with BLOG etiquette too.. The way people leave comments on each other's blog. And how the blog has been used over the years (from how it was started to how it is now) Worth two cents?

  7. no arvind thats not true to a blog. at least for people who drive their blogs with a certain passion and grace. blog is not a community its more like a space for expression of any and many sorts. comments on a blog are to have a forum of opnions and views. but whatever written about facebook, is extremely true!

  8. Well if you really see how certain ppl use certain forums.. then there is no point discussing or arguing. To each his own they say. Am merely questioning the fact of what the intention of certain forums are.. and how it has gradually or drastically changed to suit a certain OTHER purpose. If you wanna continue talking about that, then bring it on. There is no certain passion or grace here.
    I know people who use facebook with the utmost grace and passion too:)

  9. it exactly! We've all done it or thought about, but to actually put it down makes it real. Hehe,and here i thought i was the only one who noticed =P
    Ur quite ('quiet') an observer man! haha..but no really true, like the gf thing...even with our friends it holds good...not jus bf/gf. haha =P

    Nicely put though! =D keep writin.. xxx

  10. @ Yogi: Haha, yes the phone is definitely better. Thank you!

    @ Ashwin: Stealer!! I want Royalty!

    @ Anjana, Ridhima & Arvind: Thank you! :P

    @ Preanca: You're one of the few who understood the mockery and sarcasm. Thank you for that.

    @ Pooja: Haha, well said! :) True. Thank you.

  11. You know, the last time I was on orkut was two years back, and a couple of months back,I saw the site when my room-mate (a compulsive 'orkuteer') had logged into it, and I could literally not recognize it. The term Stone Ages in your blog was reminiscent of my state when I saw how much had the networking site changed, and in a way, changed us. Thank god for small mercies like the 'iggy' button...

  12. I don't really agree that facebook is such a problem.

    Freewill exists people, you can do whatever you want. The social norms are created only when you believe a part of your social life exists within Facebook.

  13. True, and that is the percentage of people the article is based on.. :)